Investigating the Performative Male
*dial tone rings* a beep follows, and not long after, an almost too cheery automated voice begins to speak,
“Hello, you’ve reached the 222 emergency hotline. Due to an unprecedented demand, our representatives are busier than usual. Wait times are currently ffffoorty…sixxx… minutes. If you would like to speak to a rep, please stay on the line. For quicker service, please ensure that the case’s details exhibit key symptoms.
Listen to the following signs to verify the likelihood of a proper diagnosis:
subject is an avid matcha latte drinker, subject is often seen carrying a tote bag, subject’s outfits, though varied, include key essentials such as oversized jeans, Doc Martens, dangly earrings, cardigans, or other thrift store staples. Subjects may make frequent references to feminist literature or carry a book on appropriate subject matter. Subjects may often feel an overwhelming need to assert shallow gender social commentary in conversations. Subject listens to one or more of the following female artists: Clairo, beabadobea, Laufey, Jhené Aiko, SZA, Lana del Ray, Erykah Badu—list not exhaustive. The subject identifies a Gen Z man.
If your case resonates with three or more of these traits, congratulations, you have successfully identified a performative male!”
It’s an epidemic! Some may say as another straight guy posts on his story a curated picture of his matcha latte and his current read—bonus points if it’s bell hooks all about love— with Clairo’s Juna playing in the background. It would be dramatic to say that a part of my soul dies when I see these posts, but realistically, they get an eye roll from me, and depending on how aesthetically pleasing the photo is, they might get a smirk and a story like. Afterward, I ponder who this guy is is doing all this for. The act is akin to a male peacock trying to summon attention from (a) special someone(s). No matter the scale of the intended audience, the performance makes me giggle and also a bit curious.
When I think back to 2025, from a near but distant enough future to evoke a shallow sense of nostalgia, I know for a fact I would look fondly at the phenomenon of the performative man. The “performative male” is one of those internet discussions that has seeped into my offline conversations. It was the butt of every joke my friends and I would make at one point. I also engaged in my fair share of “performative male” online content, and I wasn’t alone. When back-to-school season hit, college grounds were shaking with their fair share of performative male contests. You can only imagine the sheer amount of iced matcha lattes college campus baristas across the country had to dish out mid-August to late September. To me, the discussion surrounding the topic was one of those rare moments where everyone was in on the joke, if your algorithm deemed you to be worthy of said joke.
Despite its initial comedic trappings, I was intrigued by the image the performative male portrayed. For one, it is distinctly Gen-Z, as it packages and labels a lifestyle through material goods. The same way you know a clean girl, corporate siren, cottage core girlie, and the performative male is all through their possessions. However, I did get caught off guard by the trend’s popularity.
Following the (trigger warning) 2024 US Presidential election, the post-election analysis paralysis was on double-time, weaving explanations on why Vice-President Kamala Harris lost. One diagnosis that kept getting airtime was how symptoms of the male loneliness epidemic bled into the results. Alpha-male archetypes championed by male podcasters were highlighted as starting points for alt-right pipelines. The general gist of the situation was that men who feel lonely, maybe because of societal changes or because of life circumstances, would find themselves in online communities that would validate their struggles. Some real social kinship could occur, but it was often sandwiched between conservative rhetoric about what a man should act, look, and be like. These ideas spewed by male media personalities effectively soured a voting bloc against Harris (and the Democratic establishment), leading them to lean rightward or just disengage from the system as a whole. Now let's get back on track lol. The vibes post-election were trés mal (very bad in French) for anyone in the progressive tent. You probably understand what I’m saying since this is such recent history, but another way to put it was like a match where the gambling odds were pretty much 50/50 going into game day. But when the time came, the opponent kept dunking a the home team you bet on. The match didn’t need a photo finish; we knew who won (the electoral college vote was decisive, but the popular vote was still 49.8/48.3). The common language post-election was young conservatism is back, cool, and maybe even hot. There was a sea of portraits of young men in America that said most look like this or aspire to be this. The conservative look monopolized the aesthetics of what young men are in the post-election months, enter stage left the performative male.
The social definition of the performative male has changed quite a bit since I first encountered it. The act’s curtain call comes about when the performer has successfully gotten the matcha drinking, labubu carrying, Clairo listening baddie. It had a transactional undertone, and maybe it still does to some. After all, a key part of his performance is that he’s virtue signaling to get a progressive leaning girl. However, the performative label now seems like a catch-all for heterosexual men enjoying things that have been deemed feminine. Here, I have to come clean and say I’m actually a fan of the performative male by this definition. Maybe he’s a little pretentious and kinda annoying, but I find this archetype arguably more compelling than a lot of internet narratives about men. Dare I say the initial wave of the performative male aesthetics offered a welcome contrast to chads, gym bros, frat boys, etc. Now is he the epitome of what masculinity looks like under feminism, no, and I’m not arguing that or on the morality of his act. But I find it a little bit sad that on some level, we’re policing men who have non-stereotypical hobbies. The hyper-self-awareness that has manifested in the later days of this trend is so draining, uninspired, and so unfunny. Like guys, we’ve lost the plot a little. This was supposed to be a cute lowercase haha moment at first, why are we reinforcing stereotypical gender roles now (I’m scared)? Maybe this turn was always transparent, after all, “performance” was in its title. Maybe we were always a little bit distrustful of straight men taking an interest in things that weren’t necessarily masculine. What an uncreative world we live in, if the paths were always gonna lead us here. This topic has been discoursed almost to death, and the label of “performative” has now been co-opted by the right in online spaces. I hope all the chatter doesn’t actually dissuade people from their interests. Personally, I’m rooting for a new Clairo release with all the free promotion and new fans she picked this year. And if I’m being truly honest, I find myself also rooting for the performative males just a little bit..
